those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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