I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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