Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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