I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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