My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
