Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
