some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize