hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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