The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
