those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
