I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize