My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
