her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How's work?
Spinning.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
