Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
