that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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