Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
