he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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