i jhust puked up my retainher.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
