So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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