Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
