i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Found the puke drawer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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