Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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