A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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