I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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