well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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