now i know why i became what i already was.
honey bunches of taint.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
