you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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