Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
