i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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