I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
they need to just BURY HIM!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
