A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
