we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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