you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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