hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
