You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
