am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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