soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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