i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
