I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to