The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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