she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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