IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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