I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
