Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
