I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
