Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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