I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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