Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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