the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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