Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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