Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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