D3 body, D1 cock
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
