Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
