I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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