his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
