Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

After last night, I could never be a politician.

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(937): View more from Ohio

How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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(319): View more from Iowa

Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.

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(425): View more from Washington

We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was

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(928): View more from Arizona

They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...

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