either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All the doctor said was why
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