so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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