he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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