i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
