Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
