Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
