your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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