accomplished twins. life is a go
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
