It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
