therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize